人到老年/ Old Age
Posted by
Love
|
Posted in
|
Posted on
12:44 AM
人到老年
發現年老的母親走路一跛一跛的，
不經意的看了母親的腳一眼，這才發現母親的腳指甲太長而長到肉裡面造成
流血，流膿，這時，她認真的看着
已經很久沒有正眼看過的母親，她才發現在她眼前的母親已經年老，
老到已經沒有辦法彎下身來自己剪指甲，
所以才會讓雙腳的指甲傷到肉，她哭了！
從此她變每個禮拜回家，用一盆溫水先幫母親泡腳再幫她剪指甲，
泡溫水是讓腳指甲變軟，才不會因為這樣不好剪而傷到母親的腳。
一直以為父母也應該跟我們一樣能適應這個變化的世界，新的科技、
新的資訊，新的理財觀…直到最近幾年
才知道他們追的蠻辛苦的，遙控器太多太複雜、聽不懂的專業術語、
完全陌生的理財工具…直到最近幾年?
~知道為了怕我們不耐煩，父母偶爾忍住了想說的話，想做的事，
如果沒有這次遠遊，遲鈍的我也不會知道，
一向熱心打點照顧我們子女無微不至的父母，退休十幾年的老爸，
竟衰老得如此快速。
我們五姊妹只湊足了三個，決定陪爸媽去新加坡玩。在去程的飛機上，
老爸四小時都不願如廁，任憑我們好說歹說，
他依然老僧入定，不肯起身。在每一站觀光區，
他也是非到萬不得已才進男廁。
有次我觀察到他小解很久才出來，看不到熟悉親人身影，先是向東搜尋，
繼而向西眺望，即使在這節骨眼，他也不願放聲大喊大叫，
讓我們子女沒有顏面，站在陌生人群中，一副茫然失魂的樣子，
安靜、耐心等子女們的出現，
我終於瞭解他出門在外不願如廁的原因。
以前不解事的小兒子常笑他八十幾歲的外婆，連鈕釦都不會扣，
真慢！真笨！好簡單的一件事，為什麼老人家們就是做不好？
我們還未經歷到，當然難以理解，年紀大了，
有時候手腳會不由自主、不聽使喚，我以為老爸和婆婆之間還有一大段差距，
誰知他也不知不覺走到這個階段了。
往後行程我只要看到老爸表情稍有異樣，
便好說歹說強行押解他到男廁，自己則只好守在男廁外頭，
起初老爸感到萬分不自在，後來也就漸漸習慣了。
回程飛機上，我陪老爸去洗手間，
他忽然低聲對我說：「其實我不會鎖機上廁所的門。」
我拍拍他肩膀，告訴他：「沒關係」心裡卻翻湧出一陣心酸。
心裡很想告訴同行的妹妹，下次出遊，把各自的老公也帶來，
也可以多盡一份心，也很想告訴沒有同來的么妹，
錢財日後都賺得回來，唯有父母健在安康，又能帶著遠遊，
這才是為人子最大的福份；想告訴老爸，如廁問題解決了，
我們下次可以飛到更遠的地方去旅行。
一趟旅行帶給了我許多感觸，也讓再度離開家、
身在火車上的我不禁滴下眼淚....或許是自己太多愁善感，
也或許擔心自己的父母狀況，只是自己一直沒發覺，
才驚覺原來老爸老媽也變老了，變脆弱了，
不再是以前那「強壯的臂膀」、「溫暖的避風港」，
原來一直幫我扛著頭上那片天的巨人，人也會變老....
後記：《余光中的一段詩》
母難日，今生今世，
我最忘情的哭聲有兩次，
一次在我生命的開始，一次在妳生命的告終，
第一次我不會記得，是聽妳說的，
第二次妳不會曉得，我說也沒用，
但兩次哭聲的中間啊！
有無窮無盡的笑聲，一遍一遍又一遍，迴盪了整整三十年，妳都曉得，我都記得。
-----------------------------------------------------------
Old Age
There was a woman,because she could not get along with her family, rarely goes home. One day she went home, she saw her mother limping.When she looked at her mother's feet, she discovered that her mother's toe nail had grown too long, so long that it grew into the flesh.There were blood and pus.
It had been quite some time since she really looked at her mother's face. She realized that her mother is in her old age, and she could not even bend down to cut her own toe nails which led to the bleeding and the pus. This made the woman cry.
Since that day, the woman went home every weekend. She would soak her mother's feet in a basin and then cut her toe nails. She soaks her mother's feet in warm water before cutting the toe nails is to soften the toe nails, so as to not cause pain when cutting the toe nails.
She always assume that her parents are able to adept to the changes in the world, the new technology, the new information, new financial outlook. Only recently did she realized that they could not catch up with the technology. Most of the remote controls were too complex for them and terms that were completely strange financial investments.
Sometimes they are afraid to say or do things they want to do because they are afraid to trouble us.If I had gone home, I would not have known that my father who retired for sometime who had so meticulously took care of my children, had grown old so quickly.
Three out five of us decided to take our parents to Singapore by plane. For four hours our father did not want to go to the toilet even as we persuaded him,refusing to stand up. I noticed he took a long time to urinate. He looked left and right trying to look for someone familiar. Even though he felt lost he did not shout for us because he was afraid that he would embarrass us.
Standing in a crowd of complete strangers looking lost, he was quietly waiting for us to appear, only then did i realized the reason for his refusal to go to the toilet. I used to laugh at my 80 year old grandmother who did not know how to button her own shirt, and wondered how she could not complete such a simple task.
It is hard for us to understand why because we have not experienced old age, losing control of hands and feet. I thought that my father would not be like my grandmother,surprisingly he turned out to have the same problem. I forced him to go to the toilet and I waited outside. At first he was uncomfortable, but he gradually got used to it.
On the flight back home, as i accompanied him to the toilet, he said: 「 Actually I do not know how to lock the toilet door. 」I patted him on the back and said: 「Nevermind.」however in my heart i felt sad.I really wanted to tell my sisters to bring each of our husbands along for the next trip to help out,I also wanted to tell my other sister who did not follow us on this trip that money can be earned back anytime but our parents will not always be healthy and be able to travel like this, this is considered a blessing.
I wanted to tell my father : If he could get used to the toilets outside, the next time we go for a trip, we can travel further.This trip left me with many thoughts, on the train i could not hold back the tears. Perhaps i was too sensitive or maybe i was worried about my parents condition.Only now did I realized that my parents had grown old and had become fragile.They were no longer how they used to be.
Epilogue: 《Yu Kuang-Chung's Poem》
Comments Posted (0)
Post a Comment